Excerpted from Chapter 1

CULTIVATE CONTENTMENT:
Using Ancient Wisdom to Thrive in Today’s World

Three myths about life

There are many myths about being human that we all inherited from our ancestors. These myths are so strongly held in our culture that they weigh us down and darken our outlook. Let’s examine the truth of three of these beliefs.

Myth 1:  We are not good enough and need to focus

on getting better

Truth:    See yourself as “perfect-and-developing”

rather than as “needing-to-get-better”

Do you think of yourself as a person who needs to get better? Just about everyone I know wants to get better. It’s as if we are all born with an “I’m-not-good-enough” gene that we have to overcome. The “need-to-get-better” concept carries with it the belief that we do not fully accept ourselves exactly as we are.

I would like to suggest that you replace the “need-to-get-better” model with the “perfect-developing-being” model. This entails accepting yourself as “perfect” exactly as you are. However flawed and “imperfect” you might perceive yourself to be, you are a perfect being whose true essence is unfolding. Instead of having harsh judgment about the lessons you are learning in Earth School, you can shift to appreciating them as steps towards excelling at being you.

Can you see yourself being perfect just the way you are in this very moment? Perhaps it would help to dismiss the notion of “perfect” as meaning “incapable of error” or “supremely flawless and ideal.”  Perfect means “acceptable as is.” It means that you are what you are and you are not what you are not. When you accept yourself the way you are and do not pretend to be what you are not, you are being authentic and perfect. This does not mean you do not have room for growth and advancement or that you should not strive for excellence.

Of course, you know that you are not static or flawed, though you have some tendencies you would like to shift. You are always in the process of expressing your energy in different ways. You may express cheerfulness or sadness, restlessness or laziness, interest or disinterest, silence or talkativeness. Your energy both reflects and affects your thoughts, feelings and emotions.

You undergo constant change in your energy vibration. It is important to view yourself as an energy being who is constantly changing vibration and who can choose to uplift that vibration at any time. The purpose of this book is to have you use these ten principles to make choices that uplift your thoughts, feelings and emotions to create a general attitude of contentment.

See yourself as good enough now. If you are like most people, you probably are your own worst critic. As you go through the process of becoming more of who you are each day, you give yourself report card grades for every little subject in Earth School. You can choose to shift this perspective and see yourself as a perfectly “good enough” student who sometimes makes mistakes or poor choices as you go through your growth process.

Like everyone else, you have unwanted tendencies that sometimes sabotage your progress. At times you may get discouraged as you think you have moved three steps forward and two steps back. Still, you are a developing being, expanding into the fullness of your potential. As you become more aware, you will abandon things that no longer seem good for you.

Being authentic is being able to accept all of who we are — including our brightest light and our darkest secrets. As our soap operas unfold, we all do some things that work out well and others that we wish we could erase from the universe. Yet, all the while, we can remain authentic.

It is important to understand and accept your own “shadow” side. Tell the truth about who you are, including your undesirable tendencies and vulnerable feelings so that you can recognize when they are present, shift your energy, and move beyond them. When you do accept yourself fully, the patterns that no longer support your growth will diminish sooner or later.

I invite you to replace the deficiency model with a developmental paradigm. You are already good enough. You are perfect as-is, and you are expanding in consciousness as you grow and make new choices. Know that all of the choices you made in the past were necessary to bring you to this point of growth in your life, so even the ones that did not work out so well were good choices, too.

Myth 2: We have to work hard to overcome our

shortcomings

Truth:   You attract and increase whatever you

focus your energy on

The more attention we pay to constantly trying to change our shortcomings, the more energy we are expending to keep them alive and growing. It is common knowledge that “What we resist, persists.” Since the universe does not understand the word “not,” whatever we put a lot of energy into “not wanting” will be what we attract to ourselves.

For instance, if a woman keeps saying “no more men like my ex-husband!” — the universe will not hear the word “no” and will keep sending her more men who are just like her ex-husband. We must remember that in pushing anything away, we are giving it a lot of energy that will bring it back to us. Change can only happen when we are able to let go of resistance. All there is to do is to recognize what we would like to have shift and allow it to be the way it is for now.

The theories of Quantum Physics teach that thought creates reality and that we will continue to manifest what we are thinking. Popular expressions of these theories appear in the teachings of the Law of Attraction spoken by Abraham through Esther Hicks, The Secret by Rhonda Byrne and numerous books and CD’s by Drs. Gregg Braden, Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer and Eckhart Tolle as well as many others.6

We need to stay aware of where we are directing our attention. If we call for success and prosperity while engaged in thoughts of failure and loss, we will get more of what is occupying our unconscious vibration. To change any situation, we need to shift our thinking.

When we bewail our negative circumstances over and over, we are asking the universe to send more of the same because that is where we are putting our attention. For example, we might be lamenting that finances are low and sending out repeated messages of shortage of funds which — when the universe matches the vibration we are sending — keeps the situation the same. It is best to fully accept the unwanted circumstances for the time-being and put our attention on what we would like to manifest in the future.

If we are preoccupied with blame, guilt, regret, or any sort of self-torment over the past, we are not open to see what’s coming toward us in the present moment. The way to attract the solution is to dwell on the positive characteristics we are intending to achieve. Perhaps visualize having more clients or getting a raise or selling something for a huge profit. It would be much more beneficial to focus attention on income increasing. Repeating this kind of message sends the universe the idea that money is on its way — a much more positive vibration.

To attract the prosperity and joy we aim to achieve on earth, we need to constantly release negative thoughts and practices and access our highest consciousness so that we can attract the wonderful abundance we choose to manifest.

Myth 3: We have to suffer; it is unavoidable

Truth:    We do have to experience some pain but

can avoid adding emotional misery called

“suffering”

We cannot avoid past suffering, but we can be aware of disturbing influences and refrain from giving them a lot of energy. We cannot avoid past anguish, but through heightened awareness, we can stop dwelling on it. While a certain amount of pain is inevitable in life, suffering entails adding greater emotional misery to the pain.

We all have heard stories of people with chronic illnesses remaining cheerful and benevolent throughout painful body breakdowns and seen the opposite in people who loudly lament and suffer over the slightest ailment. The sages see suffering as resisting what is. Once we accept what is, we can minimize its impact.

Know that suffering is a choice. We cannot control what happens to us in life. It’s helpful to view life as having changes we might call “ups and downs.” Sometimes we are at the top of our game and life is flowing with grace and ease, showering us with successes. At other times, as we experience the downside, we may have to endure losses such as money challenges, illnesses or car accidents.

All that we can control is the way we respond to whatever comes. Becoming emotionally devastated when unwanted circumstances occur is a choice. We can decide not to add heightened feelings of misery but to focus our energy on solutions and the many blessings we have in our lives.

The more aware we become, the more we can refrain from engaging in negative thinking and, thereby, prevent future suffering. The more aware and detached we are, the more we can anticipate and prevent what might tend to cause suffering.

In the Yoga Sutras, Patanjali states — “The pains which are yet to come can be and are to be avoided.”7 We can be more alert to look for the signs of static coming our way, such as unusual behavior from a relationship partner or extremely competitive behavior on the part of a colleague. As we detect these signals in advance, we can move more slowly and inquire into circumstances rather than be forced to react to them.

The more we are aware of the energies we perceive, the more able we are to handle potential problems before they escalate into being giant challenges. The more conscious we are of the choices we make and the practices we follow, the more foresight we will have to avoid suffering.

Actually, it is our succumbing to the negativity of the automatic babbling of the “Monkey Mind” that creates suffering. The more we listen to the drama the mind adds, the worse we feel. When we focus on our inner strength, we are able to endure pain without adding suffering. Can you imagine making a decision to not suffer over anything from now on?

In upcoming chapters, you will have the opportunity to reflect on memories of life experiences that may have involved suffering. When you reflect on the journal questions provided, your automatic mind might want to have you re-run some past suffering. Do your best to forgive and let go of any negative incidents that may come up rather than use them to manufacture more misery. The purpose of reflecting is to clear yourself and lighten up. When you allow yourself to bring something to the surface, just the act of bringing it to awareness is the beginning of dissolving it.